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24 Nov 2016

At capacity



For a long time I have wanted to post about how the rampant consumerism that pervades blogging and social media has been slowly turning me into a wannabe minimalist. This post would also touch upon the hideous rise of the trend towards "luxury" and how the gross amassing of designer goods has only served to remove any sense of relatability between blogger and reader. I've held off from doing this for a couple of reasons:

a) I may sound like a jealous cow who spends far too much time scrolling her Instagram feed and getting gradually enraged as she does so. Yes it's true and the amount of eye rolls I conduct on daily basis has now reached double figures status.

And then there's the fact that:

b) I feel like I am one haul away from totally contradicting myself.

In all seriousness however I really have cut down on spending this year. There is a reason for this and I do fully appreciate the irony in stating why but.....after I bought my dream Chanel bag I really felt that I was done, that I was at capacity. I didn't crave anything else with real feeling or passion and if there's no yearning for an item then I'm not going to buy it.

Marie Kondo has something to do with this as well. I did many clearouts this year, throwing away those silly impulse purchases and only holding onto the quality, timeless pieces. This leaning towards classic has jolted how I spend money.  I am stoically trying to resist the temptation of the "trend". It's a process and I'm still in the midst of working it out.

I have consciously tried to avoid reckless shopping. ASOS for example is a vice that I am trying to remove myself from - most of that stuff hauled ends up in the charity bin - but there is no denying that online shopping in itself is not easy to quit.

I still surf Net a Porter and peruse Topshop for "must haves" and I am not always a considered shopper. Case in point, and prepare for the tenuous link, is this new top from Topshop.

I saw it online, along with a pair of shoes that I cannot walk in but now own, and added to basket immediately with no hesitation. I am not a person who lacks a selection of white tops so why I felt I needed this, I'm not sure. All I remember thinking is "oooh big sleeves/unique detail". In reality it is a nice top - a thick material that will hide a bra of any colour and with a detail that yes, proves different to anything I have. I know I didn't need it. I know that it's not actually "classic" but clearly my Fuck It slider was put at it's maximum when I ordered it.



Top: Topshop / Jeans: Topshop / Shoes: Topshop (disgustingly I paid £66 for these and they have now been reduced to £20!!!!) / Bag: Chanel / Sunglasses: Celine



If we go back to the key topic for a moment, there is something really nice and almost subversive about feeling like you are "done", that you have what you need. Okay, it's a little boring as well because new stuff does mean new content, but stepping outside that subtle pressure to buy while recognising the strength of a pre-existing wardrobe is also a little bit freeing. I'm never going to be a minimalist - I like the thrill of the new and I don't mind admitting to it - but I'm really going to try and remember the waste of previous purchases and the need to make wise retail choices, buying good quality and versatile items that I can use repeatedly.

I see that the "helpful" Black Friday sales videos have already started flooding the YouTube so I'm really going to need to embed this thought deep in order to resist the hard push to amass.

I would genuinely love to know if this is a thought that has crossed your mind - do you feel overwhelmed with the external push to buy to the point where it turns you off or have you embraced the minimal/capsule wardrobe approach? 

86 comments

  1. I went through something similar around this time last year. Had a massive clear out and created a capsule wardrobe and haven't looked back since. I blog about my capsule wardrobe and move towards minimalism (www.tartanbrunette.co.uk).
    Jen x

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  2. Fantastic Jen! I will definitely check your blog out x

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      DR TEBE HELP ME BRING MY LOVE BACK
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  3. Finally someone who sees sense! Great post Laura. And that top was definitely a must x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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    2. Hello every one my names are Clifford Esther from UK, I want to use this golden medium to appreciate Dr. Believe a great spell caster for helping me retrieving back my relationship with my ex lover when he ended and turned back on me for quite a long time now (6 months ago). He performed a spell for me and within 48 hours after the spell had been cast I receive a text from my ex saying that he is sorry for the pains and tears that he had caused me and that he will not do such thing to me again in his life. I was surprised but later accepted him back again. Anyone that is in the same line of problem or different one that want to contact a spell caster should happily contact Dr Believe now on this email address: authenticspellcast@gmail.com or authenticspellcast@yahoo.com or you can contact him through his website: https://authenticspellcast8.wixsite.com/authenticspellcast Call him through his mobile number +2348159740630

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  4. I can totally relate to this. Having moved five times in the last five years, two of which were international, I realised I had to rid myself of the non essential.
    It was and is refreshing. I also read the Marie Kondo book and it has changed the way I shop.

    I now will only buy something if it truly has a place in my wardrobe.

    At this time of year instead of a list as long as my arm I only have two items on it. One has been purchased and given to my better half for my Christmas and the other is being stalked and will only be purchased once I find it in the sale. Be it this side of Christmas or not.

    It truly is a relief. That from a woman whose mantra was once 'I shop, therefore I am!"
    ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello every one my names are Clifford Esther from UK, I want to use this golden medium to appreciate Dr. Believe a great spell caster for helping me retrieving back my relationship with my ex lover when he ended and turned back on me for quite a long time now (6 months ago). He performed a spell for me and within 48 hours after the spell had been cast I receive a text from my ex saying that he is sorry for the pains and tears that he had caused me and that he will not do such thing to me again in his life. I was surprised but later accepted him back again. Anyone that is in the same line of problem or different one that want to contact a spell caster should happily contact Dr Believe now on this email address: authenticspellcast@gmail.com or authenticspellcast@yahoo.com or you can contact him through his website: https://authenticspellcast8.wixsite.com/authenticspellcast Call him through his mobile number +2348159740630

      Delete
  5. I feel your term 'rampant consumerism' is perfect. Not jealousy, but an observation. I couldn't agree more...I love your take on this!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I reached this point about 12 months ago and echo your sentiment entirely. I could write a dossier on my thoughts about the endless stream of luxury that has saturated instagram / blogs / YouTube but I'll save you that lol. Unfortunately there are very few relatable bloggers and youtubers out there now and I've grown to accept that I never will (nor do I want to) be able to to own those types of goods at such a vast quantity. I will admit though there was a time where I did want that and I was envious of the latest designer purchases and I'd be lying if I said that there still aren't moments where I do compare my life to the instagram lives. I think the major shift is that everything is so 'polished' now. Purchases, blog layouts, photography, video quality etc and whilst it's pretty to look at for the average jo working 9-5 it is never going to be an option. I wrote about the Black Friday culture last year and to be quite frank I think it's gross. I much prefer my own version of minimalism where I still indulge in the odd splurge here and there but I am so much more mindful of my purchases and belongings and I'm ok with that. Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is totally how I feel. I still follow a lot of the same bloggers and vloggers, but I'm not invested in the same way because you're right, it's not relatable. That's partly a reflection of my stage in life being a stay at home mum though. If I was still earning a good salary I might feel differently! Marie Kondo has definitely changed the way I shop. I don't think I go as far as only what I "need", but I do consider things more carefully. If I feel myself getting sucked in, I remind myself that probably a lot of what is shown is gifted or compensated (or returned afterwards!).

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hear you, Laura!! I have recently become a "simplicity seeker", a term I have coined myself. I've realised happiness is not on ASOS or NetAPorter or hanging in my wardrobe. Happiness can only be found inside me. I need to stop trying to be someone else by buying what they say I need on Instagram! Constantly wanting to spend 1000's on things I can't really afford!
    Having worked for a Brand PR I know the majority of "recommendations" are paid for and the item they recommend they didn't even pay for! It's such bull. (I am not by anyway implying that this applies to you, you have been more than transparent with anything PR sampled or sponsored and your recommendations are the only I really pay attention to!

    Having started my own business this year my disposable income has disappeared to nothing and my credit card bill has tripled as I couldn't stop myself being swayed by "must-haves" on Instagram and youtube, especially when I was having a particularly shitty day! A couple of months ago I decided to take control and I've sold almost all my designer gear, as I don't feel I need to prove anything anymore - not like I did when I was commuting and in the office all day. The fashion industry pressures are gone! I will own a Chanel Maxi one day when my business is a success. I too will be "done" when I have achieved that.

    Instead of shopping I am trying to work on my own happiness (as my unhappiness and dissatisfaction with what I have are want makes me shop) through mindful decisions. I've taken up mindfulness and am learning to "breathe" rather than buy crap I don't need! I still shop.. it's inbuilt in me, but I am trying to make better decisions. I really needed a warm fleece and some decent lined walking boots so that I can spend more times outdoors with my dog, those were things I needed, not more tat from ASOS!

    I've unfollowed all the bloggers who I felt were insincere or pushing a luxury lifestyle and have even stopped watching Snapchat as it was becoming so self-promotional! Check out my blog, check out my new video or promotional snaps sponsored by brands?? No authenticity at all!

    Rant over. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was a wonderful post and I totally feel the same. I can't believe the number of items I purchased because of a YouTube post. I have donated so much to charity to clear out "stuff". I yearn for a minimalist life too, and am working on getting there. Keep up your valuable postings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Totally agree. I've been getting more and more annoyed to be honest is the word at a lot of YouTube videos I have seen. It's thousands of pounds worth monthly! Which to be honest no one can afford! (No matter how they try to say they can afford it )blah blah blah my husband earns a lot of money but still we can't afford to spend thousands a month. I did years ago and got into debt and it's so not worth it! I sold nearly all my collection (I have the tiniest collection now) and I actually prefer having the smaller collection before my collection was so huge I felt cluttered and it was all such a waste I wore nearly none of it or if I did just once or twice!and after my experience selling on eBay I lost so so much money!! So it also annoys me when they say designer items are investments sorry but they are not investments I have fallen victim to loosing prob 90% of what I paid on designer goods selling them!
    I've also cut on my little splurges as they all add up! I do however love to still splash out on beauty gift with purchases!
    I would love to see your updated bag collection! I still have a few bags I fancy but I'm more strict than what I was.
    Laura X

    ReplyDelete
  11. I feel like this is something in the ether right now and I love it! I've been doing a major closet clearing the past couple of weeks and am really looking forward to when I have a minimalist capsule wardrobe. I miss the days of bloggers and YouTubers having favorites that were constantly in rotation instead of seeing them once in a favorites video and that's it. Here's to downsizing on things and upsizing on freedom!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Completely agree..I literally started going through my wardrobe last night as I'm fed up with purchasing 'trend' items that I never wear and that don't actually suit me. I'm a complete sucker for a nice handbag (as you know) and actually had to remove myself from YouTube (creating and watching) for a good 6 months so I didn't feel the need to buy..how rediculous is that! I recently bought my HG bag by myself and finally feel done and secretly a little proud of myself :) the pressure to buy new 'luxury' items every month is getting a little intense now from all these blog posts and videos and totoally feel your pain! Hope you are well lovely and hope to see you soon xxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nail on the head. Over the past couple years I think I have subconsciously disassociated commercialized content on social media. There is just so much of it that I must have reached capacity, as you said, without even realizing it was happening. Granted I have made a couple big moves during this time and scaling down of material possessions were a must in both cases. And the funny thing is now that I have whittled my beauty/clothes stash to the essentials, I really haven't feel the urge to replenish. It's actually more exciting to shop for a need versus a want if that makes sense.

    ReplyDelete
  14. So much love for this post. I love shopping but during a recent clear out I realised how much stuff I was giving to charity when I'd barely worn it and thinking about how much money I'd wasted really annoyed me. I'm so also bored of seeing haul videos. I feel like it's not sustainable, nor is it really ethical especially considering Primark and even the latest ASOS matter about the contracts workers are on.

    I feel like we're always told that we need need need and we should want want want, but I don't think it really guarantees any happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You should read the book l'art de la simplicitè, I just finished it and it was a real wake up call x

    ReplyDelete
  16. So very true. Also all the brands which gift to bloggers end up on my 'don't buy from' list. So farewell Bvlgari, Chloe, Jaeger etc.

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  17. Yes indeed. I felt 'at capacity' at the recent Sephora VIB sale where I only purchased three items and two were replacement items that I needed. This revelation of sorts got me thinking that I will probably go on a no buy (makeup & clothing) in 2017 - 1. because I'd like to enjoy what I have and 2. It's a challenge ~ can I truly 'no buy'? We shall see - I have two months to decide .. or two months to convince myself to put it on paper as my 2017 goal(s).

    Monica.

    ReplyDelete
  18. For every one piece or item I purchase, I give one away. So if I really want that sweater or those shoes, then another will have to go into the donation pile. This seems to work most of the time for me, and gives me pause because I actually swipe that credit card. Love your blogs <3 Nadeen.

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  19. Absolutely couldn't agree more! This is the very reason I quit blogging myself, pulled (dragged) myself away from Instagram, and never joined snapchat!

    Of course, at first I missed the money and the freebies but I'd realized it was just a continuous cycle of spending money to make money. And for what, to spend hours creating a post, getting frustrated trying to get a picture of me that looked alright, to feel validated by my page views?

    My happiness has increased exponentially since I stopped. May I add, without even one bag purchase I'm the past 18 months!

    I'm currently working on using up my makeup stockpile and enjoying the items I already own. The only social media I use is Instagram and that's just when I feel like it and because it's something I want to post, not have to.

    It's unbelievably liberating to no longer feel driven by consumerism.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love this post! I have been following your blog since your YouTube days and I love watching the evolution in your thinking towards consumerism. I feel I can relate to your thought process.

    About a year and a half ago, I deleted my YouTube account so I was no longer inundated with new outfits of the week and shopping hauls. I barely scroll through online shops anymore, which has cut down on my online shopping tremendously. Don't get me wrong, I still go shopping, but it is truly only 5-6 times/ year. My time has been spent much better elsewhere after getting rid of the desire to peruse online shops.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I've been a weird contradiction this year : I've decluttered loads, have gotten rid of half my wardrobe, am tired of furniture stuffed to the max in the house. But I've also spent much in luxury items. I kind of justify it by saying they're an investment that lasts for ever and that you can resell if it's not loved/used anymore. I somewhat consider getting a Chanel bag for my 40th birthday next year. But I don't know if I'm "done"yet. I guess I'm not spending less but I'm spending on less stuff and chosing luxury/quality?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I couldn't agree more (there seems to be a real push on Cartier watches at the moment...) and it actually really put me off blogging for a while. In the end I decided to completely rebrand as food only and move away entirely from fashion, beauty and lifestyle. Like you I've tried to move away from picking up a haul of items on Asos and instead buying good quality investment pieces, stripping back my wardrobe in the process - although I did buy those velvet topshop shoes you mention - and it's liberating.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I have never been much of a fashion girl, so my wardrobe consist mostly of timeless pieces, but I feel the same about makeup. There was a time where I would rush out and buy everything "new" and "LE", but I have reached a state where I am overwhelmed by all the stuff I already own and started downsizing instead of adding. And it helps me enjoy my stuff even more. Now don't get me wrong, I still own 20+ red lipsticks, but at least I no longer feel the need to make it 50+.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

    ReplyDelete
  24. Fashion has never been my forte regardless of how hard I try but I always seem to end up with a lot of clothes I have no intention of wearing. I just cleared a lot of things out in the past few days and am now trying to build the foundations to have a decent capsule wardrobe. Fast fashion is nice and all but I'm now at the stage of my life where investing in key, quality pieces means more than buying that really cute jacket that will look totally wrong on me.

    Raise The Waves

    ReplyDelete
  25. This post is completely what I've been feeling the last year, and consumerism has grown so much lately! I've also realised that there's no originality anymore, you can literally spot instagram/YouTube trends on 90% of the people you see on the street.
    However the thing that really pushed me to stop buying so much this last year was that I trying to do wardrobe clear out and I realised how so little of my wardrobe truly reflected my personal style and for me it wasn't even a matter of buying into trends, it was more that I kept buying clothes that would cover my weight gain in the last 3 years instead of buying the clothes that were more my style which didn't suit my body shape, so I decided to get rid of everything that didn't work for me and lose the weight first, and now I've lost the urge to shop as much and I feel so much more confident in my smaller wardrobe that suits my now currently slimming down body.
    I've also completely stopped shopping from asos and I only shop online when there's something I was eyeing up but couldn't get in my size in store. I definitly don't think I'll ever be a minimalist and a capsule wardrobe just isn't for me, but I definitly shop more conscientiously now, I know which stores I like to buy from, I look more at the fabric I'm buying and the specific colours of the clothes too (I never realised how much colours that don't flatter me would stop me from wearing that item of clothing). I can pretty much live comfortably out of my wardrobe now and I've been able to identify the things that I need to get such as I've got to buy a smart wool coat, some warm shoes for this freezing weather, and a couple of occasion outfits.
    I really feel like YouTube and instagram, and all these huge online stores such as asos, missguided and now this new lyst site just make people buy more than they usually would because the inspiration and then the place to buy the things are all available in that instant while your sitting in bed, whereas when I'm out shopping and my arm is about the break from everything I'm holding and see my shopping bags increase I shop a lot less and only bring home what I really liked.
    I'm seeing more and more people finally getting fed up with all the stuff they've accumulated that they don't really care about that were purchased from youtube recoomendations, I feel like this is perhaps the beginning of a movement towards loads of people downsizing their collections and limiting their spending, but maybe thats just optimistic?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well said! I've had a similar reaction, where over a multi-year period I went from reading a fair number of fashion/style blogs, to just feeling 'over' it. And there is an oddly subversive feeling to feeling like you're making choices just for yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  27. The best things in life aren't things x

    welshandwonderful.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. My sentiments exactly...I have been going back and forth with the idea of a capsule wardrobe but I enjoy shopping way to much. I notice the older I get the more I look for quality versus quantity. I appreciate the relatability of fashion blogs versus the pushing of products.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is the way I shop now. I thought it was because I was getting older, but your post & a few others recently have made me realise it's not. I prefer signature classics, quality not quantity in my wardrobe & prefer to invest in pieces I know I'll always look good in. I didn't partake in Black Friday sales either & feel quite smug about it!!!!
    You look gorgeous in your top Laura!

    ReplyDelete
  30. All I can say is, my sentiments exactly! It becomes almost exhausting Laura, all these sales and gift guides. I may need to do a similar post if you don't mind because I've felt this way since the holidays began.

    ReplyDelete
  31. firstly the top is rad and you had to do it and now I'm going to have to buy it.
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  39. I scaled back on fashion blogs, and just keep up with my favorites which are about five fashion bloggers. These days I love to follow illustrators on Instagram, watch art channels like Lachri on YouTube, read blogs like Brain Pickings, stuff like that.

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  72. I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me so we split, before he left me, we were planing to get married in the future, I loved him so much but I became tired of him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, I went into search for help in the internet, I tried many different spells from almost every place locally as well as online and none of them worked, I almost gave up hope because I thought i will never see my lover again forever, one day i saw some testimony about this powerful spell caster Dr. Todd i emailed him and i asked him to help me bring back my lover and he did A Lover Spell for me And after some days, my lover returned back to me I'd like to say that i got a positive result from (manifestspellcast@gmail.com) ever since i used his love spell, my lover have learned to appreciate me more and more, and he doesn't take me for granted.

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  73. Hello,

    My name is David L. Ollis, 43yrs, from UK my wife and I have been married for 15 years. For over five years I have been dealing with jealousy issues because of flirting and her having emotional type affairs with other men. I felt like my masculinity was in question and if I said the way she was acting bothered me, it seemed to make matters worse or I was accused of being controling. During this period I did state I wanted a divorce if the behavior was not going to end: texting men a night, leaving for the weekend without letting me know where she was going or not responding to messages. We do have a son and basically it's been him and I for the last year on the weekends. She disconnected completely from being a good wife and mother. In April she said she wanted a separation and I said no we need to get into marriage counseling. We did try that, but she was not very responsive and didn't give any effort. Afterward she was adamant about separation and divorce. I continued to say no and that we needed to save our family. She presented a separation agreement and I had to hire a lawyer. Because of the above behavior my lawyer suggested a private investigator. The investigator discovered my wife was having an affair with a close friend of the family who also is married with children. We know the extended families. I feel like I should tell this man's wife about what happened. This adultery has devastated me emotionally, I feel betrayed and I'm physically drained. I know my wife is passionate in terms of her sexuality, and I can't get the thought of them out of my head. It makes me question my own manhood, and I feel very inferior or that he must be a better lover or what ever. The problem is my wife pursued him. She would go to him and she lured him into this adultery. I felt this was coming for some time and could not stop it. She was not only lying to me but also to our son about what she was doing and where she was going. My family is important, my son loves her and as crazy as it sounds so do I. Can you respond with a course of action on how to proceed? I was still have a very huge place in my heart for her. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I, my son and my wife are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.

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